I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
