thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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