We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
