Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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