I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Randomize