I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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