You're completely useless in the revolution.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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