At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
