I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
