So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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