guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
