That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
