You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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