What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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