He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
