I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
