OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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