Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize