I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
