speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
