weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
