I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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