I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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