just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
