An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
