could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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