discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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