I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
