Michael Bay diarrhea
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
