Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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