I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your cock deserves a montage
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
