I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
