maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
