If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
