i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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