so explain again why im purple
no
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
