Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
