How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
