We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
