Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
