ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
