if you like me you must not know who I am
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
