dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
