the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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