turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize