Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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