why didn't you poke me back
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
