You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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