you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize