i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
