he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When are your genitals available?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
