I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
