Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
