ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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