last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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