Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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