Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize