I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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