I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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