Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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