Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize