Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
