The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
