A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do herpes really smell.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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